If you have an adopted child, who was adopted by both you and your spouse during your marriage, it is virtually the same as having a biological child during a divorce. Nothing changes as far as the child’s rights or your rights as parents. You can address the same issues, such as setting up a custody schedule or deciding how to make legal decisions for the child while co-parenting.
Considering the child’s feelings
Where things are really different is just in regards to how the divorce impacts your child. Emotionally, it may be harder for them. There is a risk that they’ll really feel like they’re being abandoned. Adopted children may already suffer from some abandonment issues even without a family breakup.
To combat this feeling, it’s important to always put the child’s best interests first. For instance, maybe you and your ex don’t get along, but you know that the child would appreciate it if you both came to important life events. Take the time to do it, putting your own comfort second to what your child wants. You should also:
- Avoid arguing in front of the child
- Tell them repeatedly that you both love them
- Reiterate that they didn’t cause the divorce
- Take on this new co-parenting role with love and dedication
- Ask the child how you can make their life as easy and stable as possible
If you have the right mindset and the right focus, you can actually make this process go very well for your child. The post-divorce living situation could be even better for them if it gets them out of a high-conflict marriage. Just remember to always put them first as you look into your legal options.
